31 December 2013

I learned a lot...

2013 taught me a lot. 

This year taught me how to be patient.  From the time I got pregnant until now, I think I've learned a lot about patience.  When I was just 6 weeks pregnant, I got EXTREMELY sick for about 10 more weeks.  Every single day of every week, I was sick.  It required me to stop and take care of me.  I thought it would never get better, but finally it subsided after 3 months or so.  Then when my little one decided to be  late, boy...I was so upset and tired and exhausted and just done.  Done of being pregnant.  I would almost snap when people would ask me "YOU HAVEN'T HAD THAT BABY YET?"  Well no, no  I haven't.  Don't you see my HUMONGOUS belly?  So yes, I had to exercise patience a lot during my pregnancy.  Oh yeah, and let's talk about how Winslow was nine days late....

This year taught me how to rely on the Lord.  I've learned that, good gracious, I can't do this mom thing on my own.  I can't tell you how many prayers I've prayed for strength, patience, understanding, knowledge.  I've prayed it all.  And you know what?  The Lord has been good to me.  Even when my child is not napping like I want him to, or when he wouldn't take a bottle for 4 weeks while I was at work,  or when he got up 10 times at night last week, Yes, He is still good.  He has taught me that without Him, i would literally have no hope.  No hope to go about my day.  Can I get an AMEN?

This year taught me about my true calling.  Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom.  I wanted to live on a farm with chickens, goats, a big garden and lots of kids running around (and still do want this!)  But I'm slowly getting there.  :)  When people would ask me what I want to be when I grow up, I would tell them "A mom".  I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed me to have the desires of my heart  and I need to continually stay in constant thanks for showing me my true calling: To be a mom.  There's nothing else I'd rather do.

This year taught me how I need to be a better listener.  Since having a baby, it's been a true challenge to keep my husband first.  I mean, a baby plus a job takes a LOT out of you.  And I want to work on being a better listener instead of getting so angry so quickly.  Sometimes when I'm at my wits end, my husband gets to see my backside. And it's not pretty.

  I'm sorry, babe, for my short temper and I promise to work on it for next year.  

This year taught me how much I appreciate my mom.  When Winslow was born, she came and stayed with me for two weeks.  Those first two weeks were the most wonderful and awful weeks of my life.  Can any other of you momma's relate?  It was wonderful to have a new baby, but my hormones were insane and between having problems with nursing, and just being a new mom with no sleep, my mom helped me so much.  She would wake up in the middle of the night to rock Winslow while I would try to get a couple hours. She has ALWAYS answered my phone calls and listened to my fears, my hopes, my rants...she always helps me with being the best parent I can be for my son.  I am also so appreciative of my mother in law.  She graciously gives us her day every day to keep W while I am at work.  She doesn't have to do this, and I am so grateful she does so that we don't have to pay for daycare.  

This year taught me how to sacrifice.  Let's face it:  once you have a child, it's not about you.  I can no longer stay up past 10 o clock (unless I want to be exhausted for the next day), I can no longer make a trip to Target for TWO hours (and yes, this was one of my favorite pasttimes).  It's not a bad thing at all, it's just different.  And I wouldn't change it for the world.  (Although I will make a Target trip sometime soon..and I may spend 2 hours there)

This year has taught me how fragile life really is.  We are not promised tomorrow, and I need to always keep this in mind.  Whenever I get upset at my husband and snap back at him or get frustrated at Winslow, or yell at the dog for just being in my way..I need to breathe and remind myself that the time I spend like that will be lost forever..i can't change it, and it's a waste if it's spent like that.  

 I did learn a lot, and I plan on trying my darndest to make sure 2014 is saturated in grace and patience.  Afterall, that's what the Creator asks of us. I am determined.  I'll make it happen.


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