Perhaps the biggest thing I have learned from being married, though, is this:
It's not all about me.
And you know what?
It's not all about him either.
It's about God.
It's sometimes hard for me to remember that whenever we are in disagreement and I say something that hurts. Or even when something great happens and I think "Dang, I really deserved that!"
Nope. That ain't true. We deserve nothing. But because of God's grace and compassion, we get to experience blessings upon blessings.
"The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger,
and abounding in love."
For me, blessings are often time in disguise. Some of that is because I don't look for them. I can be easily discouraged and quick to worry. Back in January, instead of doing New Years Resolutions, my father-in-law encouraged me to choose one word that I could focus on this year. Instead of making lists of things that more than likely include physical appearance, my one word encompasses a change in my character and vision for my life. I chose "trust".
Man, that's hard to do for a worrier like me, right? Well since 2012 is already halfway over (Crazy!!) I can confidently say that through the challenges, I have learned to trust more. Not only God, but my husband, others, and myself.
God is able to change my heart. To get rid of the yucky and replace it with beautiful things such a trust, patience, goodness, kindness...etc.
Perhaps the biggest challenge I've had this year is a decision my husband made this past month.
To not continue studying law.
Now, I won't really share EVERY single detail as to how this decision came about because really it's just too much to write...but the summary is this:
He didn't feel like that's where he wanted his career/life to go.
So he decided not to go back in the fall.
And at first, it hurt. It hurt because I had this GRAND life plan.
Three years of school
Then buy a house
Then have a baby
then have another
and we would have a white picket fence on a farm and live happily ever after.
But God has other plans for us. And I am fully trusting in Him that our life is going to be BETTER than I had planned it.
I bet He was laughing at me in heaven thinking "Oh Kait, why must you waste your time planning out this big fancy life when I am the most important thing? Consume your thoughts with me, dear."
(Okay, maybe he didn't sound like that but you get it.)
Well, what are your plans now, you ask?
Good question! All I know is that I am trying my darndest to live by this verse:
"So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs.
God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time.
Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you."
-1 Peter 5:7 (The Message)
And I love him more today than I did yesterday.