sometimes life gets hard.
and sometimes I forget about all the great things that have happened in my life, and instead dwell on the not-so-great things.
Like how i've been jobless for 1.5 months. and only 2 places have called me back..and those two places were NOT what I thought they were..
Like how our rental house is great, but since it's so old, it has that "always dirty" feel to it
Like how I've been consuming wayyy to many Krispy Kreme's and oreos. That's going to look real nice when it reaches my butt.
Like how I am selfish and want to be skinny but also want to eat sugar and fried foods for every meal.
Like how my college degree isn't getting me anywhere right now...
Yeah...life sucks, don't it?
Not at all, actually.
Let's think about the great things:
-My husband starts LAW SCHOOL tomorrow. He is making me so proud. I wanted to just cuddle up next to him ad squeeze his cheeks while he was working on a brief this evening, but instead I watched design star and bachelor pad. (<--Talk about mindless, trashy show right there)
-We thankfully have a nice little savings account that will help us to float while I am searching for a job.
-We are renting this perfect little house for us and our animals that is close to law school, yet outside of Raleigh so rent is more reasonable.
-The Lord has been reminding me that he is BIGGER than any of this. He is bigger than my worrying about jobs.
WHY do I fail to remember that so often? I think it's because I am so prideful and have this feeling that maybe, JUST maybe I can do this on my own.
But I can't.
Ain't NO way.
and yet, the Lord doesn't get mad that I don't listen sometimes. He doesn't leave me to fail. He is there for me even when I ignore him. Sheesh...that's pretty crazy.
Today was a rough day. I just had this thought all day that "no one wants me". That even though I graduated with honors from college, that it wasn't good enough. That even though I've applied to 15+ jobs, something about me is WRONG.
I know that 's not true though. Deep down I know that.
After my mini pity party was over, I was reminded of the many blessings I have all around me.
My family (BTW, my dad and brother are coming to visit on Wednesday!)
My wonderful husband who is working his tail off in law school
My friends who always find ways to make me feel better
And although this may seem silly to some, my freaking adorable puppy. While we were at the beach, her and I were sitting on the porch and I was reading my book. She was looking so sweet and I whispered to her "Penny girl, you bring me so much joy." Of course, she didn't know what the heck i was saying, but she really does. Her sweet face and demeanor is a blessing I will never forget. (Even if she is terrified of ceiling fans)
So, here's what it all comes down to.
I am blessed. Even if I am jobless. Even if I do eat too many oreos in one sitting. Even if the mower wouldn't start when all I wanted to do was surprise the hubby with a manicured yard when he got home from law school, but I spent twenty minutes throwing my arm out..and still no luck.
I am blessed. God is good. ALL the time.