22 February 2011

It's hard being a grown-up.

Although I am so thankful to have a college degree and to be married, sometimes it's hard being a grown up.

Sometimes, I want to go back to the days when:

you could stay up as late as you wanted, even if you had a big exam the next day.
every Friday night was spent with tons of friends and lots of junk food.
you didn't have to worry about bills because daddy paid for the apartment. (which I am still so very thankful for)
dinner consisted of Lean Cuisines or ramen noodles
Spring Break was a WONDERFUL thing to look forward to.
Date nights with your boyfriend happened once or twice a week.
There was always somewhere to go, something to do, and relatively nothing to worry about.

And now..that's all changed

If I stay up past 11pm, I am a worthless human being the next day.  I won't be able to even keep my eyes open.
Most Friday nights are spent at home with the husband watching TV or cleaning house. (haha!)
Bills pile up every month, and although we pay them off every single time,I sometimes (or all of the time) want them to magically pay themselves.

I cook dinner every night and try to have new and exciting recipes each week.  I love cooking, but sometimes I do wish ramen noodles or lean cuisines could be an every day thing. 
Spring Break? What's that?
Date nights happen once every two or three weeks..

Now, please understand that I'm not ungrateful for any of those things, but remember how people always told you "College days are some of the best of your life"?  Well..i'm kind of understanding what that means now.

Being a grown up is hard sometimes.

and i'm sure feeling it this week.

I got in bed last night and just cried and cried because I was worried.  Worried that I won't find a full time job to support our family.  Worried that we are going to spend a lot of money in France and not have enough for other things (although that is not true). Worried about our energy bill and how it didn't go down even though we kept our thermostat on low.  What if I don't find a job? What if our bills don't go down? What if our France trip costs more than we planned?...blah blah blah..i was an emotional wreck.

(and to think, it wasn't even my time of the month either! haha)

And then hubby prayed for me..and of course I cried more because it was so sweet and I love him so very much.  And then I felt guilty for crying because we are so incredibly blessed and I shouldn't worry about that stuff anyway.  God is going to take care of me. He promises that. 

I'm silly sometimes. 

But I guess we all have off-weeks...right? 

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a worrier..you know how some people are like that and then others are not?  Well, that is where hubby and I differ. a lot.  he doesn't worry about anything..and me? Well you already know where I stand on that one.

I do know this though: God is good.  and He is going to take care of me and our family.


P.S. Don't forget, I am having a giveaway once I reach the big 1-0-0!  I am almost there...only ten more followers!


  1. Hi Kait! I stumbled on to your blog (now I forget how I found it!) but I just totally can relate to this post. Sounds exactly like what I would do, and it's so refreshing to just put it all out there! I recently wanted to switch jobs and it took longer than expected (and yes many tears while searching job sites all night) but I'm sure one will turn up. Hopefully it will be better than you can imagine, and it's true, once you give it up to God He will answer your prayers! OK... that was a really long comment for not knowing you but hey, you write a good blog so it seems like I do know you! :) P.S. Jealous of your trip to France!

  2. omg i am the exact same way. i was feeling this way a lot yesterday too. God showed me in my bible study though to not worry because he will always be here to take care of us.

    im so glad im not the only worry wart.

  3. Kait, I feel like I could have written this post! I am fortunate enough right now to have a full time job but with the hubby in law school, money is tight. We pay all of our bills every month and live as frugally as possible but it still worries me sometimes.

    J is much less of a worrier than me (like your hubby) which I think is good--one person has to be strong while the other one falls apart, right?!

    I try to look at it this way: God willing, this time in our life will be a time where we have the least money but also the least responsibilities (no children, no elder care with our parents, only one of us is working) so I try to enjoy it as much as we can--sounds like your trip to France will be a chance for you to do that too :)